the numbness spreads from my mouth,
down my throat, blossoming in my chest
to warm my body in a swaddle
of calm, unfeeling neutrality
the surface of a lake that has not
been stirred,
seeing the full moon on a clear night,
i am bathed in numbness and serenity.
i search for it,
at times i crave it.
i do crave
fragrant smoke, sticky flowers,
numb feeling
when it fades,
i am left with my mind
a muddied lake, full of dirt and grime
unseen nasty things
that drain my
will and
desire.